I’m rich, get me outta here

Bloody hell, all these bank holidays might be good for those of you who like to skive off work but they are playing havoc around here. I mean, normally I get the whole week to dream up this rubbish but this week I’ve got to do it a day earlier… and the same next week too.
Luckily help is at hand from someone called Alana, who is a business development manager at an online marketing firm with, in her words, “over 6 years of experience in the domain”.
Anyway, she emailed me to say she was on the site and, “couldn’t help noticing that it lacked quality content. Content in any online marketing campaign is one of the most crucial factors to make the campaign a success. However, in your case the content is not good”.
She added: “We can help you with that. Allow me to offer you our Web Copywriting Services. We work hard to deliver a hassle free and time bound copywriting service to our clients so that they don’t have to wait forever for a content piece.”
What a bloody cheek, doesn’t she realise I work day and night on this shite, scouring the streets of Britain to find you the latest gossip, and that’s the thanks I get…
The thing is, little does my esteemed editor know, but I will probably soon be putting up my feet in the Bahamas, alongside all the other industry millionaires.
You see yesterday I had another email, this time from a guy called Li Park. OK I’ve never actually heard of him but he seems to be very friendly. He said: “An Arab made a fixed deposit of $44,500.000.00 in my bank branch where I am a director and he died with his entire family in the war leaving behind no next of kin. If you choose to stand as my deceased client’s next of kin and if interested, mail me at the address below: desk_lipark@yahoo.com.hk Yours Truly, Li Park.”
How could anyone resist? Anyway, so I emailed Li and apparently it’s all kosher. He really has got loads of money that he wants to give me. So, never mind Alana or McKelvey, I’m off… so see you later suckers!