So, one week in to my new self-partnering life and, to be honest, even I am getting a bit bored of me – no wonder I couldn’t get a fella. Still, one thing I will never get bored of is bed and little did I realise just how much fun self-partnering can be in that department.
I mean, not only do you not have to worry about keeping someone else happy, it literally is all about me.
There’s an added bonus, too, according to Oxbridge boffin Dr Michael Mosley, that bloke who is rarely off our TV screens and fronts “Trust Me, I’m A Doctor”.
Anyway old Mikey boy reckons that the key to losing weight is getting an extra hour of kip every night. And who are we to argue, after all Mosley (no relation to Oswald we hope) was the man who popularised the 5:2 diet; not that I have tried that – I can barely go ten minutes without stuffing something in my mouth.
So, apparently it’s all down to two “hunger hormones”, ghrelin and leptin, of course. What do you mean you’ve never heard of them?
Ghrelin is released after the brain signals the stomach is empty, while leptin is released from fat cells to suppress hunger – and tell the brain it’s full. But when you don’t get enough sleep the body makes more ghrelin and less leptin – leaving you hungry and increasing your appetite.
The thing is, you are only supposed to have an extra hour and this is so you don’t feel so knackered when you, er, exercise.
However, this week I have been testing my very own version, in which you actually get to stay in bed all day. And I am pleased to report that the pounds have been falling off me.
In fact, I am now losing so much weight I might soon be able to ditch this tedious “me, myself and I” self-partnering nonsense and get back on the dating scene – just in time for Christmas…