“Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose, Yuletide carols being sung by a choir, And folks dressed up like Eskimos.” Oh how times have changed, in fact I’m not too sure you’re even allowed to say most of that now but you can’t keep a Christmas girl down for long.
Obviously, I am still awaiting the golden shower of presents pouring into Decision Marketing Nerve Centre (aka McKelvey’s front room), although to be honest I don’t trust my esteemed editor; I reckon he has poured most of them down his fat neck already, even though he denies it.
And it seems I am not alone in my suspicions, ugly mingers are consistently judged to be more untrustworthy, according to a new study by our friends over at Emlyon Business School (nope, me neither).
With the research showing that beautiful people benefit from their looks in terms of better career trajectories, higher salaries, and better job opportunities, it is no wonder that this place is going to pot.
Still, there’s always 2025…
Talking of which, this being Friday the 13th, I am signing off for the year – well, it is going to take me a couple of weeks to get back to the folks in Bolton. Have you ever been on the Megabus?
But before I go, there is the small matter of the annual Foxy Christmas sing-a-long, of course. So, with apologies to Mariah Carey – yet again – all together now…
I don’t want a lot for Christmas
But plenty of ales I still need
I really do love a Sweet Baby Jesus
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want a Bitter Bitch for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is booze
I don’t want a lot for Christmas
But a Velvet Merkin I still need
A Belligerent Ass I would love
Underneath the Christmas tree
I promise that I’ll slurp Buttface
Right in front of the fireplace
Kilt Lifter will make me happy
And bring a smile on Christmas Day
I just want a Sex Panther for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is booze
I need a little extra this Christmas
Just something to feast my eyes upon
You know Big Cock Bock is my fave
But please don’t make me wait too long
‘Cause nothing else will do tonight
With my mouth open wide
What more can I do?
Readers, all I want for Christmas is booze
All I want for Christmas is booze, baby
All I want for Christmas is booze, baby
All I want for Christmas is booze, baby
All I want for Christmas booze, baby
Have a good one. See you next year xx
Follow Foxy on X and Instagram if you must, but don’t get too excited as I’m never there
