And so to International Women’s Day 2024 – where else? – which is the one day each year when us sisters actually get a chance to put the world to rights without you fellas droning on and on and on.
But first, I hear you ask, how is the Slimming World diet coming along? Well put it this way, if I carry on like this I should hit my target weight by IWD 2028… So many alcoholic syns; so little time.
Talking of which, did you know that your drink says more about you than your outfit or hairstyle, according to new research released by – yes, you guessed it – everyone’s favourite cheaters’ website Illicit Encounters. You see, nearly three-quarters of the 3,000 members they quizzed claim they can tell more about a person by what they chuck down their throat than by hours of small talk.
When it comes to you fellas it appears that you are under the illusion that the posher the drink, the more sophisticated the drinker, with women who drink beer seen as trouser wearing, boisterous “lads”.
With red wine, us sisters are viewed as pretentious, uninviting, controlling and confident (make up your mind fellas!), while white wine drinkers are deemed intelligent and graceful perfectionists.
But the list doesn’t stop there, whisky drinkers are seen as strong-minded and dominating attention seekers, while champagne lovers are elegant yet high maintenance socialites and Martini fans are decisive, opinionated and untamed.
All of which goes to prove what every woman on the planet knows, you fellas are simply clueless.
Well, I say every woman but not Illicit Encounters spokeswoman Claire Page, who said: “It’s a good idea to learn what drink stereotypes are associated with personality traits so you know what to order for a prospective partner, and you don’t offend a classy woman by buying her a pint of Budweiser on your first date!” WTF.
Anyway, I don’t know about you lot, but all this talk of booze is making me thirsty… What I really fancy is a few beers, followed by a couple of glasses of red and white, then a few drams of Scotch, topped off with champagne and a round of Martinis.
In which case, according to this survey, I will be laddish, boisterous, pretentious, uninviting, controlling, confident, intelligent, graceful, strong-minded, dominating, elegant, high maintenance, decisive, opinionated and untamed all at the same time…
What better way to celebrate International Women’s Day 2024?
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