Oh Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, you are so depraved – and for once I’m not talking about my esteemed boss (although obviously the same applies to him at times). No, dear readers, this week we are lamenting the lure of the Bolivian marching powder, of blow and snow.
Now, being a wholesome girl, I’m happy to confirm that I’ve never sampled its apparent delights, despite the fact that a previous boss was desperate to see me coked-up. I can’t say I haven’t been tempted mind; you only have to look at the nose candy lovers to see the weight-loss benefits.
For those of you who may be wondering what has triggered this particular subject matter, DON’T YOU READ THIS WEBSITE? Of course, the former (they were very keen to stress that, I can tell you) Geometry Global finance boss is not the first, and certainly won’t be the last, agency chief to snort for England. (However, he did make the rather sloppy error of dipping his hand in the company till to feed his habit – and then getting caught, too.)
Tales of candy scoffing are the stuff of legend. Who could possibly forget that agency party during which a senior creative team was so desperate to get hold of some drugs that they approached one of the only black guys in the room whom, in their slightly addled state, they reckoned would be a nailed-on dealer. Apparently they got a rather nasty shock when they discovered that he was in fact married to the managing director.
Then there was that leaked email from a hugely disgruntled finance chief circulated to another agency (and industry of course), which revealed the “totally unexpected news” that the “lovely, people caring boss that you all thought you knew and loved is a complete drug addict”.
One thing I would say though, is that while this week’s case is all very sad, it does throw up a valuable lesson for would-be agency kleptomaniacs. While the middle-class man from Blackheath managed to escape jail for a £500,000 fraud, the former PA at Communisis was banged up for three and a half years after being found guilty of falsifying company credit card statements to hide a not-quite-so-massive £264,000 spending spree.
Just a word of advice then; if you’re going to dip your hand in the till, make sure you are buying Charlie and not spending it at House of Fraser, Costco and DFS.
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