Well, it’s here at last. Black Friday? No, I’ve already done all my Christmas shopping. Pay day? No, that was Monday, and I’ve already spunked the lot (see above). Time to put up the tree and baubles? No, McKelvey’s beaten me too it (something to do with him trying to impress the golden grandchild).
No, Foxy fans, at last my “Lockdown Hamper” arrived from those lovely folk at Unlimited, with special thanks to Erris and the Human Understanding Lab (HUL) naturally.
So, I hear you ask, what’s it about? Well, apparently HUL asked 2,000 people what they couldn’t possibly live without when working from home as part of its ambition to understand what new human behaviours are emerging during Covid-19. They then parcelled up the top “essentials” and sent them out to key industry influencers (apparently that’s me and who am I to argue!)
Now, before you all turn into green-eyed monsters, rather annoyingly the top answer was notepads, followed by tea, coffee and biscuits. I mean, what the hell is wrong with you people?
Luckily, Unlimited know what’s good for them so the hamper full of notepads also came with lashings of CHOCOLATE AND BOOZE. Unluckily for me, my parcel was intercepted by McFatty and McFatter and they scoffed the lot – including the notepads. (Told you they were greedy bastards.)
Now normally that would’ve been enough for me to unleash a foul-mouthed rant but, according to a new study by our friends over at commercial property firm Savoy Stewart, people in marketing don’t swear much anymore.
To be fair, I have no idea what this has to do with Savoy Stewart but, to carry out the study, the firm approached 100 companies across 14 sectors and asked one volunteer from each to note down the number of times people swore when on a team video call or meeting.
Bizarrely, the accountancy, banking and finance sector emerged as the industry most likely to pop a profanity, with professionals caught out almost a thousand times in a week. They were followed by law and travel on more than 700 a week each and sales on 550. People working in marketing were way down the list in ninth place, on just over 400 profanities a week.
Now, I’m not sure what you lot reckon, but I don’t think I’ve ever read such a load of f**cking bullshit, bollocks and wank in my life…