Move over Mary, bring on the Great British Busty Off

busty idolSo bad news for Rogering Rog, Calamity Clive and Marauding Mike; men of a certain age who enjoy frequent sex are putting themselves at higher risk of heart attacks and other cardiovascular problems.
That is the rather depressing conclusion of a new study which found that older men who have sex once a week or more – chance would be a fine thing, hey fellas? – were “much more likely to experience cardiovascular events five years later than men who were sexually inactive”.
Now while that might be bad news for them – it is in fact great news for us girls. No longer will we have to say we have a headache, we can just point to the facts…”Sorry hun, I would love to have sex with you but I am thinking of your dodgy ticker.”
Of course, some nasty girls might look at it another way. Get the ring on the finger, then pop ’em a few Viagra and soon you will have all their money and none of the hassle. Go for it Mrs Trump.
Not that I would countenance such behaviour really; these days I am far too busy tuning into the Great British Bake Off to think about sex. In fact, now that I have read Mary Berry’s “Baking Bible”, I reckon I could run the show when it goes over to Channel 4.
OK, they might have to rebrand it the Great British Busty Off but I reckon with my razor-like wit, radiant smile and 38DDs filling up that tent I could bring in a whole new audience to the show. (Sorry Rogering Rog, Calamity Clive and Marauding Mike is your blood pressure off the scale yet?)
Anyway, I have always loved it in the kitchen (so much better than the bedroom) and my buns are always moist, my bottom is never soggy and I’m sure you will believe me when I say my Jussipussi is to die for…

You can also follow Busty on Twitter @BustyIdol

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