So, are you all looking forward to the “high-wage, high-skill, high-productivity, low-tax economy” which apparently is going to take “the pressure off parts of the overheating South-East while offering hope and opportunity” to those who have been left behind in other areas?
Well, I’m sure all my Northern friends and family can’t wait, although I have no idea where Boris gets his claim that the South-East is overheating…
We can’t even get fuel let alone afford the gas and, quite frankly, the only thing that is overheating round my parts are the desperate burghers of nearby Brighton, who are kicking up a stink about the latest industrial action by the binmen at Cityclean. The streets are no longer paved with gold but are strewn with discarded hummus, quinoa and avocado skins.
Other than that, it’s like the 1970s all over again, only without tank tops, glam rock, Chopper bikes and Jim’ll Fix It (thank gawd).
But please, dear readers, kindly spare a thought for one community of “outsiders” who are feeling the squeeze; you see doggers simply can’t get enough fuel to drive to the local “hotspots” for their in-car entertainment.
Here in West Sussex things are getting even more heated this week, ever since the website LetsGoDogging.com claimed the county was rife for outdoor romps and said people in Horsham could “be sure of meet ups” every weekend. Alfresco fans can also partake in “secret dogging sessions” in Crawley, the site added.
However, without fuel, it is all going Pete Tong without a thong.
Still, as they say, where there is threat, there is opportunity, and none more so than for marketers pushing electric cars.
With the number sold in the UK last month nearing the figures for the whole of 2019 – nearly 33,000 pure electric cars were registered according to the Society of Motor Manufacturers & Traders – panic-buying at the petrol pumps is likely to prove even more of an incentive. Yep, you read it here last (again).
In the meantime, expect ads for EVs to be all over dogging sites like a rash. After all, it is a classic case of “clean vehicles, dirty minds”. Now, surely that’s a strap no-one could resist…