“It’s the hard knock life for us, It’s the hard knock life for us, Instead of treated, we get tricked, Instead of kisses, we get kicked, It’s the hard knock life.” Yep, you guessed it, times are hard in the Decision Marketing Nerve Centre.
In fact, we are all so skint – even the usually well-healed old soak (surely you know who he is by now?) too – that we have been forced to go back to our Covid-inspired Plan B, and relaunch the nearly award-winning ale, Foxy Over A Barrel.
So, dear Foxy fans, I’ve had to get my Bigger Jugs barrels out again and this week I’ve been mostly knee-deep in the joys of mashing (soaking the grains to extract all the fermentable sugars); sparging (separating the grains from the sugary liquids to make the wort); boiling (heating up the wort with the hops to extract more flavours); cooling (so that all the sediment can be left behind) and finally fermenting (adding the yeast to the wort to produce the ALCOHOL and carbon dioxide).
Luckily, the hard work is now done and all I have to do now is sit back and let it do its stuff.
However, I must remember to get back in contact with my old mate Pete Brown, who is now no lesser luminary than The Bloody Sunday Times Pissing Beer columnist. Nice work if you can get it!
Imagine how much booze he gets sent to, er, “review”. Mind you, he probably has to be slaughtered all the time to try to get through bashing out a column every week. I feel your pain, Pete, I feel your pain.
Although, as anyone who has ever been out to lunch with my boss and survived will know (OK, I concede that’s a very limited audience), it’s not easy being around pissed people all the time, so even poor old Pete’s missus Liz (the original old soak and a one-time PR to the stars of the advertising industry) must be finding it hard to keep up.
Still, back to me. Now all I need to do is catch Pete in one of his many merry moments and surely he wouldn’t be able to resist Foxy Over A Barrel 2.0? Accessible yet assertive, zesty and bold, and big with ample body and a great finish; and that’s just little ol’ me…
Foxy has ditched X but is still on Instagram, just don’t get too excited as she’s never there
