Good news for me; bad news for the old liver. Next week sees the awards season kick off with the Data Strategy Awards. Now normally I would get a slap-down from my esteemed editor for even thinking about a rival awards scheme but, given the fact that Mr McKelvey actually invented the DS Awards, I am being positively encouraged to mention them – he’s even managed to get me a ticket, too.
You see, he doesn’t actually want to attend himself; he just wants to make sure they’re not as good as they were when he was in charge. Schadenfreude anyone?
Hopefully if I remember anything about the evening I will be able to give you an update next week. Just don’t bank on it – I know what you data people are like when you get together. It’s wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiild!
The thing is, I can’t help wondering whether there will be a good old punch-up. It’s unlikely that it will be able to beat the DM awards ceremony at the Mansion House in Dublin earlier in the year when RMG Target chief Gary Brown attacked one of the awards’ judges, punching him five times in the face, leaving him bleeding. Let’s hope Brown isn’t there next week, otherwise editor Mark Choueke could get a battering. Mind you, you can guarantee he’ll devote a whole magazine to it if anything untoward does happen.
Of course, that was not the first time there’d been a fight at a direct marketing bash; a few years back a similar thing happened at the DMA Awards in London. And, to be fair, the year when comedienne Tameka Empson hosted the event she was pretty lucky not to escape a slap in the face after she accused Wanda Goldwag of being a man and then slagged off headline sponsor Royal Mail for “sending me all that crap in the post”. Not a bad night’s work for her ten grand fee. Then again, she has lost a lot of weight since then so maybe the old corporate merry-go-round came to a halt soon after.
One of the best I’ve ever seen was the late, great Bob Monkhouse, who hosted the Marketing Week 25th Anniversary bash. When he read out Simon Fuller’s name on the shortlist for ‘Entrepreneur of the Year’ award, Bob – who, to be fair, had managed to sneak a bottle of whiskey behind the lectern – said: “If that bastard wins, I’ll hit him.” Cue the result and Fuller walked rather nervously on the stage to pick up his gong. A slap in the face from the host? Now that would have been a good story…
Finally, last week’s column only produced two suggestions for Lloyd James’ drag act partner…Come on you lot, you know you want to tell us all.
ha ha, will miss it myself but others will be there. Probably best I am not there given my track record at various Music Week awards. Some fantastic hosts for those like Jonathan Ross, Stephen Fry and Jack Dee but one year the host whose name escapes me was so bad everybody started chatting.
When he finally complained yours truly (in the front row) shouted loudly “Say Something funny then and maybe we’ll shut up?”