Ah the golden sands of Cannes, the glorious sunshine, the copious carafes of Côtes de Provence Rosé, the drink-fuelled agency parties, the beach football, the fit young Brazilians, the lushingly lascivious married guys looking for fun…what’s not to like about the 60th Cannes Lions International Festival of Creativity?
Sadly, I’ve been stuck back in Blighty surrounded by RFIs and procurement briefs. Despite recruiting my dashing creative director Hans Alloverme last year, my accountant is apparently still trying to offset my massive expenses bill.
Funnily enough the powers that be on this site wouldn’t cough up either, so I’ve been forced to get my head down and attempt to win some new business for Busty’s Direct Sales & Marketing (BDSM for short, of course).
Now, I could just have the last laugh, with Land Rover, Coke and Weight Watchers briefs up for grabs, although as we speak those very same clients are probably being wined and dined by my rivals, and scoffing the best foie gras money can buy on the Côte d’Azur.
Mind you, judging by the number of stories Campaign journalists have been filing this week, the glory years are well and truly over, even for reporters. Oh the joys of online publishing, hey guys?
Even poor old Matt Williams – the young DM reporter who left Campaign for an easier life at Engine Group – has been bashing out blogs with the ferocity normally reserved for men bashing one out while the girlfriend is away. Mind you, having sampled a couple of his musings, he’d have been better off actually having a wank instead.
Still, I did take a crumb of comfort over my non-attendance after seeing Chris Whitson from VCCP me – that’s Stephens Francis Whitson to the rest of us – posting a picture of his paltry Friday lunch on Facebook last week.
A sandwich, a bag of crisps and a vitamin drink? Oh how times have changed – there wasn’t even a More Th>n giant teapot and biscuit in sight. However, there was a theory going round that the pic was just a diversionary tactic for his missus, Liz, and that he was actually in a “meeting” down the pub sinking pints with IDM boss Mike Cornwell.
Both strenuously denied the allegation, but what would the late, great Derek Holder make of his successor having a “dry” lunch? Sloppy.
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