“We’re in the money, We’re in the money, We’ve got a lot of what it takes to get along, We’re in the money, The sky is sunny.” Nope, I haven’t just turned into the chief executive of Sainsbury’s, but TSB has finally given me access to my bank account, and with the forecast of a sun-scorched Bank Holiday, I am feeling rather cock-a-hoop.
Not that my overdraft has disappeared but, hey, I am sure the huge debt I racked up being a student will sort itself out in the end, and it will definitely be worth it once I get a proper job – or, even better, when I land myself a rich fella.
In fact, I am kick-starting my quest for Mr Loaded this very weekend, as Roxy and I – and the rest of us girls – are heading down to the South Coast for her hen weekend. Come on, you didn’t really think I would be arranging something in Manchester did you? Watch out Brighton…
From what I hear, there are loads of very wealthy people down there looking for love. Admittedly, I might have to hedge my bets and go gender neutral for the weekend, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do and all that.
And we plan to do the lot; the pier, the i360, the Dome, the South Lanes, the North Laines, the seafront bars, and, according to my esteemed editor at least, we simply can’t go to Brighton without checking out the Lady Boys of Bangkok.
We might even call in on the dashingly handsome Jonathan Spooner, who is said to be the number one fan of this column. Wait until he meets the other girls…he might even crack a smile.
One man who is also in need of a bit of cheering up is PR to the stars Ian “George Clooney” McCawley, who hails from Bolton and is something of a local hero up here in the Red Rose County.
But despite spending the past fortnight on the stump – no, not with the Lady Boys – his crusading efforts to grab a seat in this week’s local elections in the London Borough of Bexley have fallen by the wayside.
Never mind handsome, you can sort out my pot-holes any time you like…