Well, one thing which has come out of this week’s grim news from Eastern Europe is that I have been forced to rethink my views on matters closer to home.
You see, until Wednesday I was in little doubt that the biggest power-crazed idiot in the world was my esteemed boss but, no, dear Foxy fans, it seems that title is firmly in the grip of the president of the Russian Federation, Mr Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin.
Which, at the risk of being targeted by Russian hackers, is about the only thing he seems to have a grip on. And you can guarantee he has a micro-penis, too (bet you never thought you’d see one of those again did you?)
Still, as ever, you might be wondering what all this has to do with the glorious world of data-driven marketing? As ever, not much, although there are those out there who reckon the conflict in Ukraine could well speed up The Great Resignation. After all, if the end of the world is looming, who wants to be spending their final days working in an annoying job?
But before all you employers start changing your working practices so your staff can have more flexible hours or you even consider throwing in huge pay rises and bonuses, help is at hand from the unlikely source that is extramarital online dating site Ashley Madison.
You see, according to a study they carried out (OK it was a while ago but no doubt it still holds firm, so to speak), while the website has been created specifically for dirty cheaters, “members” were surprisingly loyal to their careers, with 44% claiming they never switch jobs, and the rest claiming that they only changed roles every decade.
So, all you have to do is find out which members of your staff like a bit on the side and you are likely to discover who your most loyal employees are.
If you can’t work that out, there is even more help at hand, this time from the hacking community – for once not Russians – as not that long ago someone slipped in through the back door at Ashley Madison and got their sticky mitts on members’ grisly details, including sexual fantasies, nude pictures, and, more importantly, real names and addresses.
Fancy a trip to the Dark Web anyone?
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