Why Busty is a greedy Farquhar

Well, dear readers, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that my Uncle Ivan has resigned from this column to concentrate on launching his own agency; the good news is that I’ve been given his job. That’s right folks, you’re stuck with Busty Idol – well, at least until the end of the summer holidays…
You may remember last week I told you about my new fella, the rather gorgeous Tarquin Farquhar (Farquhar by name; rich Farquhar by nature).
Well, since we arrived back from Tuscany it has been something of a whirlwind romance, obviously aided by the fact he’s got a huge bulge in his trousers (of cash, of course, what do you take me for?).
Anyway, he reckons he’s just about to sell his social media marketing agency “Farquhar & Friends” for £50m. (Slightly more than Catchpole & Friends went for but, hey, you can’t win ‘em all Chris). Apparently, Sir Martin Sorrell and Maurice Levy are fighting to get a slice of old Farquhar. And who can blame them; they can have all of him if they like, so long as that banker’s draft gets signed…
Not that I’m a money-grabber you understand, but I am beginning to understand why my Uncle Ivan wants to start his own agency, Idol Hands. When you see some of the numbskulls who have made a fortune from producing junk mail it makes you wonder what has taken him so long.
Sadly, it seems unlikely that Uncle Ivan will launch in time to pitch for the Rolls-Royce DM account. (Word on the street is that the review was sparked when the company found out Partners’ creative chief Steve “my hair is more coiffered than Nicky Clarke” Aldridge had bought every other luxury car but not a Roller.)
Thing is, how difficult can it be to flog one of those? Surely you just go down The Sunday Times Rich List and tick off the people who haven’t already bought one?
Mind you, with 50 big ones heading for his bank account, Tarquin will soon be able to afford one too. If a Roller is good enough for Christina Aguilera, and, would you believe Stevie Wonder (hope he doesn’t get behind the wheel though!), then it’s good enough for Busty…
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