Why Foxy will be sucking on Flavanol this weekend

foxy 414“It’s coming home, It’s coming home, It’s coming, Football’s coming home…” (for the final time, I promise). Yep, confidence is now sky high that England will batter the Azzurri and bring down the curtain on 55 years of hurt at last.

Of course, the “spaghetti noshers” won’t be a pushover; from the safe hands of Gianluigi Donnarumma and the steal of Giorgio ‘King Kong’ Chiellini through to the brains of Jorginho and clinical finishing of Federico Chiesa, they could give our boys plenty of problems.

Here at the Decision Marketing Nerve Centre, we will be glued to McKelvey’s new 60-inch telly (claimed on expenses no doubt) on Sunday night. In fact, he’s even hinted that we might be able to have Monday morning off if all goes to plan (a likely story).

Mind you, we all have our coping mechanisms.

For my esteemed editor, it is naturally, Foxy Over A Barrel, the assertive, zesty and bold premium craft ale, which is big with an ample body and a great finish. A few pints of that dispensed from a Bigger Jugs keg and he won’t even remember his name, let alone the footie.

For his sidekick – Ian “George Clooney meets Rolf Harris” McCawley – it is a plateful of the country’s finest cheeses. No Dairylea Triangles for this man, he loves nothing better than to chow down on a Fat Bottom Girl and a Dirt Lover, followed by Dragon’s Breath Blue, Drunken Hooligan, Stinking Bishop and Barely Buzzed.

For Roxy, things are slightly more highbrow as she likes to get lost in the Classics. Pythagoras, Heraclitus, Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle? Nah, The Lovin’ Spoonful, of course, the learned musings of the gorgeous, witty, brainy and übersexy proprietor of Spoon Creative Ltd, Mr Jonathan Spooner Esq.

As for me, I crave a far more simple escape: the joy of CHOCOLATE. And, would you believe it, right on cue, researchers in the US have discovered that eating a bar or two as your first meal of the day could help you shed the lockdown lard and get fit, too.

The team at Brigham & Women’s Hospital in Boston gave 100g of milk chocolate – is that all? – to a gaggle of post-menopausal women within an hour of waking up, or one hour before they went to sleep, every day for two weeks. Lucky cows.

And, rather than pile on the pounds as you might expect, they found that a high intake of CHOCOLATE during the morning hours could help burn fat and reduce blood glucose levels. Meanwhile, consuming a slab at night helped regulate participants’ sleeping patterns and alter their metabolism.

Of course, they key is Flavanol. No, not an Italian midfielder but a chemical in CHOCOLATE that supposedly increases fat oxidation and has been linked to a reduced risk of heart attack, stroke and death from cardiovascular disease.

I had better make sure I suck on plenty for Sunday; as we all know, watching England is enough to bring on heart attack, stroke and death in even the fittest of us…

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