The flags are just about ready to go up, the banners are being unfurled and the prosecco is on ice. Yep, the four-day weekend is looming large and we’re chomping at the bit. And, as if by magic, apparently the Queen is celebrating some anniversary or other, too.
As marketers across the land – if not the world – know, there’s nothing quite like a royal celebration to get shopaholic consumers shelling out their hard-earned cash for regal tat.
According to the Centre for Retail Research, Brits alone could spend about £408m on the Platinum Jubilee, with £281.5m going on souvenirs, memorabilia and gifts (supposedly the rest will go on booze, then).
Mind you, you have to admire how some firms are pulling out all the stops to shift the stuff, even though it’s hard not to smell a rat.
For instance, Wholesale Clearance UK is actually trying to promote 10,000 mugs, tea sets and decorative plates commemorating Queen Elizabeth II’s Platinum “Jubbly” as collectors’ items, while another firm is pushing the Queen’s Jubilee Chocolate Orange Cover (£6.50 no Chocolate Orange included).
Other “top tat” includes Corgi Celebrating Queen Elizabeth’s Platinum Jubilee 2022 Leggings (a snip at £45.00); a Platinum Jubilee Portable Wood-Fired Oven (a rather steep £1,395.00); The Queen’s Royal Corgi Mini Skirt (£34.00); The Queen and Corgi Air Freshener (a bargain basement £2.75) and last but not least The Limited Edition Queen Barbie Doll (now selling on eBay for an eye-popping £800).
Never one to be outdone, it seems that even everyone’s favourite adult entertainment site Pornhub is getting in on the act.
According to its search engine, the site has 128,901 Jubilee porn videos, 37,739 Prince Andrew videos, 37,450 Prince Charles videos and 15,012 Queen videos. Mind you, it also claims to have 1,738 Foxy Idol videos and I’m sure I would have remembered making at least one of those.
Still, all of this is music to the ears of social historian Robert Obie, who is currently showcasing 200 years of royal souvenirs at the Museum of Brands in London and insists the exhibition is all about looking back at those exclusive buys years on.
There’s even the chance to get your sticky mitts on some of the exhibits, with a session running from June 2 to 5 entitled: “Please Touch – Object Handling Sessions in the Exhibition Hall.”
Let’s just hope “Randy Andy” isn’t invited to that one…
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