Martin Croft, Mike Nutley, Justin Pearce, Andy Oakes, Nic Howell…your boys took one helluva beating – that’s right folks, the line-up of former New Media Age staffers will no doubt be lamenting the fact that NMA has fallen prey to the, er, new media age and folded.
Another nail in the coffin for top-quality marketing journalism? Definitely. Do we care? Of course. But now all we need is for Marketing, Marketing Week, Campaign, and Brand Republic to fold and DecisionMarketing will rule the world!
Maybe Centaur knows something our esteemed editor doesn’t. Maybe this stuff is just not financially viable anymore. Maybe I should start fingering other pies. (I’m not too sure that his winnings from the £5 bet he has with former IPA chief Hamish Pringle that Campaign will be online-only within five years is going to support me for too long either…)
So, it was with this in mind that my search for a new millionaire boyfriend gathered pace this week. And, where better to look than the pages of The Sunday Times, I thought – there are bound to be plenty of eligible toffs in there, and it doesn’t even matter if they’re still married, so long as they are minted.
I only had to get to page 15 when I stumbled across a potential candidate, Conservative Party co-chairman and Internet entrepreneur Grant Schapps. He’s even written a trilogy of books which give top tips on how to get “stinking rich” – including the imaginatively title How To Create Your Own Money-Making Mint.
The report went on to say that he’s claimed to be worth £17m. Hmm I could certainly help him spend that. But there was a catch – apparently he only claimed to have made loadsamoney to flog his books. When I read that his company is only actually worth £1,700, my attention switched quickly to the story printed below…
Apparently a new research paper has attempted the answer one of the oldest riddles known to man – which nation has the biggest dicks. Yes, readers, this was in The Sunday Times; not the Sunday Sport.
To quote: “In a research paper it purports to set out the size of the average erect penis in each of the 113 countries. The results range from an impressive 7.1 inches in the Republic of Congo to 3.8 inches among North and South Koreans.”
How very typical; the poorest countries have men with the biggest appendages. Now I’m no scientist, but having done some pretty extensive research of my own into this particular field – and not just online like the author of this report – I’d like to say for most of girls size does matter – the size of your bank balance, that is.
So, come on guys, Christmas will be here soon…how can you resist showering little ol’ Busty with gifts?
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