Well, you knew it was coming – quite literally – but I’ve finally got round to celebrating the Merry Maturbation Month of May, and, with just over a week to go, I have got a lorra, lorra catching up to do.
If, you like me, you have been too busy getting on with life to get on with yourself, luckily help is at hand in the form of a cracking article by Quinn, the platform for audio erotica, made by women, for the world.
As it helpfully points out, discussing self-pleasure still makes some people squirm, but self love is totally normal, incredibly beneficial, and one of the best ways to figure out what really turns you on.
In fact, they love it so much, they have come up with “the Top 11 Ways to Celebrate Masturbation Month Ethically”. It seems 10 is just not enough, so knuckle down to this lot:
1. Add it to your schedule. If your busy schedule keeps your hands full of everything but yourself, make more time. Having a wank can relieve stress, lift your mood, and teach you what arouses you, so carve out some you-time and lock the door. There’s no right or wrong way to do it – just focus on what makes you feel good.
2. Masturbate more often. If you don’t indulge in masturbation very often, ramp up the frequency. Turn your sporadic sessions into a regular self-pleasure routine and note any changes you notice, like better energy or better sleep.
3. Incorporate sex toys. There’s a whole world of sex toys out there, so why not celebrate by treating yourself to something new? Experimenting with toys can help you achieve different types of orgasms (like multiples), and pairing your toy with lube can open up new realms of pleasure.
4. Go to the edge. Edging is when you repeatedly bring yourself close to climax but stop right before you reach the peak. This practice can heighten your orgasms, making them more pleasurable when you finally allow yourself to get all the way there. It’s an exciting way to up your masturbation game and explore your endurance, apparently.
5. Find out how other people masturbate. Talking to others can be incredibly enlightening. Have an open, honest conversation with someone you trust to learn about the diverse ways people pleasure themselves and discover new techniques or fantasies to try.
6. Listen to ethical audio porn. Naturally, as the platform for audio erotica, Quinn is keen to promote its own services, insisting its audio fiflth offers a hands-free, immersive experience that can spice up your routine. With steamy narratives and moan-filled soundscapes, you can let your sexual fantasies run wild.
7. Read erotica. Fuel your imagination with erotic literature, another ethical porn option that can make masturbation more fun. From short stories to lengthy novels, reading erotica can arouse your mind and body in ways you’re not used to.
8. Try guided masturbation. Look for audio guides or videos, that lead you through a masturbation session. Guided masturbation sessions offer new techniques, pacing, and even storytelling to enhance your overall experience and help you achieve orgasm in a new way.
9. Practice mindful masturbation. Slow down and pay attention to every single sensation during solo sex. Mindful masturbation means being fully present with your body and exploring what feels good without zeroing in on reaching orgasm quickly.
10. Explore forced orgasms. Apparently these “aren’t for the faint of heart”. This kink involves continuing stimulation beyond your first orgasm until you orgasm multiple times. It pushes the boundaries of your physical limits and can be a bit difficult to achieve alone, but once you get there, it’s pretty powerful.
11. Explore prostate stimulation. If you have a P-spot, you might find prostate stimulation incredibly rewarding. Stimulating the prostate can lead to intense, full-bodied orgasms, and you can use your fingers or a prostate toy.
So, there you have it. Luckily, this is a Bank Holiday Weekend, too, so you’ll have plenty of time to, er, sort yourselves out.
Failing that, you could always spend the next three days looking at the Tories trying to defend their record of the past 14 years. Now they really are a bunch of tossers…
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