Will you bash one out for Busty?

will you bash one out for bustyThey say “the truth will out”, but I must admit I wasn’t expecting to find it in the self-styled adland wank-mag that is Campaign.
Not that I’m a regular reader, you understand (my esteemed editor will be perusing this column, after all) but even I couldn’t resist a sneaky peak at the lovely Claire Beale’s article entitled “Pitches mean more sex but fewer relationships.”
In this highly insightful (yeah, right) piece, the svelte queen of adland quotes one agency boss as saying “there’s definitely more sex between colleagues when we’ve got a pitch on”.
Gotcha. So, now I know that when Mr Lida used to say he couldn’t come out to play as he was working late on a pitch, he was actually banging one – or maybe more – of his colleagues over the desk. To be honest, I’m not that bothered – it was only ever a friends with benefits thing – but I do have a reputation to maintain, you know. Whatever happened to the saying “once you’ve had Busty in black you don’t go back”?
Ah well, I suppose there’s always DIY. Taking of which our friends over at Pornhub have been hard at it again, and now claim to be working on a new gadget that can charge your phone, tablet or any other gizmo through wrist action alone.
The rather unimaginatively branded “Wankband” contains a small weight which moves back and forth with your arm, turning your kinetic energy into electrical energy, and is claimed to work just as well for women as for men. (You really can’t make this stuff up.)
According to the blurb: “Every day, millions of hours of adult content are consumed online, wasting energy in the process and hurting the environment. At Pornhub we decided to do something about it. Introducing The Wankband: The first wearable tech that allows you to love the planet by loving yourself.” It has even posted a video on YouTube so you can see how it works.
Now I’m no expert on the art of masturbation – to be honest I prefer someone else to help me relieve stress – but I reckon there are enough wankers who read Campaign to give the National Grid a run for its money.

You can also follow Busty on Twitter @BustyIdol

 

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