So, another World Cup passes us by, with the Jules Rimet trophy actually “going home” to Les Bleus. Funnily enough my esteemed editor was cock-a-hoop, not only had he scooped the office sweepstake; he also claims he is a quarter French due to his grandmother being a garlic nosher.
Mind you, he is also part German, part Israeli, part Irish and even part English apparently, so he had a few fingers in a few pies (makes a change, he normally eats them all).
But who, I hear you ask, were the biggest wankers? Well, according to our friends at Pornhub, Croatia splattered all over the French in that department.
While traffic to everyone’s favourite adult entertainment site crashed during the match, after 90 minutes, it recovered so rapidly in Croatia that it spurted up by nearly 20% above normal. As the data geeks pointed out, perhaps Croatian fans were looking to cheer themselves up.
Apparently, all England fans could do was to set out in search of, er, waistcoats. Yep, in a desperate attempt to garner press coverage for a data client, some PR wag sent over a release claiming that “Gareth Southgate has created a new global fashion trend for wearing a waistcoat. Indeed, since the nation got behind England for their semi-final clash against Croatia on ‘waistcoat Wednesday’, the media has been full of stories about retailers running out of stock.” Really? If so, I bet the charity shops are full of ’em now…
Anyway, with the World Cup done and dusted, and no more fit footballers’ thighs to perv over, my thoughts are turning to SUMMER HOLIDAYS!
Here at Decision Marketing and McContent & Design (remember them?) we like to think of ourselves as one big, happy family, well, if not slightly dysfunctional. So, as the song goes: “We’re all going on a summer holiday, No more working for a week or two, Fun and laughter on our summer holiday, No more worries for me or you, For a week or two.”
That’s right folks, McKelvey will be channelling Cliff Richard as “Don” (tread carefully with that one), Roxy will be Lauri Peters as “Babs”, McCawley will be Melvyn Hayes as “Cyril” and, of course, I will be playing the sexy one, Una Stubbs as “Sandy”. Sadly, our child web ops expert from Budapest couldn’t get permission from his mum, but Spooner is keen to play Jacqueline Daryl’s “Mimsie” and Jezza Lee is promising to make a guest appearance as Ron Moody’s “Orlando”. No doubt Sonoo “I love a freebie, me” Singh will try to blag a place on board too…
The boss has already rented the London Bus (well, a plumber mate’s old van to be slightly more accurate) and we set out this weekend on our big summer adventure.
Of course, “no more work for a week or two” doesn’t quite apply to me and Roxy, so we’re packing the dongle, and will be toiling away as usual, if only to keep you all in the loop #norestforthewicked.
So, don’t forget to follow us on our wacky trip; you never know, we might even actually make it to Dover…