Banging the Drum for the rise of the Bedroom Beast

foxy 414So, there I was minding my own business when suddenly up pops an email from someone called Alma. Now, you might be wondering what could possibly have caught my eye, after all, I get hundreds of emails a day – mostly rubbish ones from PR agencies begging me to run their stories which have little to do with marketing, let alone deserving of coverage in the “august organ” they call Decision Marketing.
Well, just a little tip for those trying to get my attention, it was the subject line of “The Bedroom Beast has Been Released” that did it. Now, initially I thought that maybe the Beast of Burnage – that’s the former Partners Andrews Aldridge chief executive Martin Nieri to the uninitiated – was having marital issues.
As if. It is said that he’s now even more loved up with his gorgeous missus since he managed to escape the stalling Engine. And there’s absolutely no truth in the rumour that he is piston broke either…
No, dear Foxy fans, this particular Bedroom Beast is a new herbal Viagra that, apparently, “over 78,659 people have already tried”. It can, according to the blurb, “reverse ED permanently in just a matter of days. And all that with an easy method that you can do at home in just 7 minutes, without any help from drugs”.
Anyway, in the name of charrrridy, I have forwarded the email to the Drum’s editor in chief, Gordon Young, who it seems could be in need of a bit of help in that department if yet another unashamed plug on LinkedIn is anything to go by.
Apparently, the magazine is doing its own bit for charrrridy – which makes a change as it seems more intent on world domination than Zuckerberg. I digress. Anyway, it is taking part in the Aintree Classic Run, and thought it would be fun to kit its teams of runners out in T-shirts that reflect its heritage, and we’re not talking Irn-Bru or the Beano.
To quote old “Youngy”: “I suggested the Scottish expression ‘I’ve horsed it’ because I understood this to mean ‘move really fast’ as in; ‘I was late so I horsed it’. However, the Urban Dictionary tells me a younger generation now regards it as meaning ‘I’ve had rampant sex’.”
C’mon Gords, we all know that ship left the harbour many, many years ago, but hopefully the Bedroom Beast will give you a little extra lift…

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