Oh, don’t you just love the marketing and advertising awards season? Naturally, if you work at The Drum or Campaign it is more of a weekly bind than a season, but I must admit I was starting to feel a sense of FOMO when I realised that everyone in the world has been enlisted to be a DMA Awards judge this year. I mean, what’s the matter with giving little ol’ me a pop?
Luckily this soon disappeared when I got a call from the Frome & District Agricultural Society, asking whether I would like to judge next week’s Global Cheese Awards, one of the oldest and most respected dairy competitions in the world.
Established in 1861, the event has apparently evolved from a local livestock and market show into a premier international arena for dairy excellence. Well, that’s what they told me, although I was already hooked when they said “would you like”.
You see, apparently my summer musings about the finest cheeses of France, Italy and Spain have reached even the far flung corners of the South West of England, with my reviews of Banon AOP, Brousse du Rove, Poivre d’âne, Gorgonzola, Mozzarella di Bufala Campana, Parmigiano-Reggiano, Manchego, Cabrales, and Torta del Casar causing quite a stir.
They now believe I am something of a turophile, and who am I to argue?
Naturally, the competition itself is rigorous and inclusive and I will be joined by about 60 other industry judges to evaluate the entries purely on quality, blind-tasting products from global heavyweights, massive commercial creameries, and tiny independent producers.
In recent years, the awards have pivoted significantly toward championing artisan cheese makers. More than 40 specific classes feature lower entry fees tailored to small-batch producers manufacturing less than five tonnes of cheese per week.
This levelling of the playing field ensures that micro-dairies can compete directly with multi-national cooperatives and also means that I will be scoffing myself silly. I must admit, I am hoping that Fen Farm Diary will be entering Baron Bigod again this year, having already won a silver medal and being ranked among the top global cheeses.
Look, it’s tough work but someone’s got to do it.
Not only that, but one recent survey suggests that cheese eaters are more active in the bedroom, more adventurous, and statistically more willing “to give” than people who skip the dairy.
According to the study of 4,600 people by some dodgy dating platform, the vast majority of cheese lovers have sex at least six times a day, with 88% viewing themselves as “very adventurous” and “very generous” between the sheets.
Now, I’m not too sure how many DMA Awards judges can boast that but, hey, I’m still available the week after next if need be…
Foxy has ditched X but is still on Instagram, just don’t get too excited as she’s never there
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