So, biffer Clarkson is gone – good riddance I say – and now the BBC is looking for a successor to work alongside that rather cute little bloke with the cheeky smile and the truculent hairy one who likes a drink (and I’m not talking about Shaun Moran and Ben Rachel from Soul either).
The pundits are bandying round various names, including Chris Evans (is he sleeping with someone high up in the Beeb, he’s everywhere?), Adrian Chiles (surely not) and even John Bishop (well, as a scouser he is well used to driving fast getaway cars). But, come on, who else could bring that much-needed sex appeal to the petrolheads than little ol’ Busty?
Admittedly I can’t actually tell a big end from an exhaust flange and I only do double clutching when I am carrying two Gucci handbags (well, you’ve got to hold on tight to those babies these days). Yet I reckon I’ll certainly bring in the viewers – both male and female – with my undoubted charm and wit, as well as a little help from my friends, the ‘Whip-Me-Stockings’ and the 38DDs – now that really is Top Gear.
Not that I always exploit my curves, you understand, beneath this impressive bodywork there’s a highly inquisitive mind. (I love nothing more than to ask what L’Oreal Touch-on highlights my girlfriends are using.) And although my driving leaves a little to be desired – you wanna try reversing in my pink hummer – I’m sure I’d give old posho Clarkson a decent run for his millions…
Mind you, other roads to a decent income seem to be becoming increasingly narrow, after the organisers of information-security event RSA Conference sent out a new dress code banning scantily clad models from wandering the show floor.
The rules dictate that exhibitors cannot wear skimpy shorts, tank tops or halter tops, or even miniskirts or tops that show what it deems as “excessive cleavage”. Lycra body suits are also out, as are “objectionable or offensive” costumes. Anyone breaking the rules will be thrown out of the four-day conference, due to kick off on April 20 in San Francisco, California. Not that I was planning to attend your boring tedious event anyway, but come on guys, us girls have got to find work somewhere…
You can also follow Busty on Twitter @BustyIdol
