Busty beats boredom with the agency of her dreams

busty idol“I’m bored. Bored of how toothless, gutless and increasingly anodyne our industry has become. Bored of diversity being prioritised over talent. Bored of creative sobriety. I’m already bored of Lucy, Nils and Natalie. Bored of brand purpose, programmatic media and mid-funnel marketing. Bored of networks and holding companies.
“I’m bored of virtual reality, augmented reality, artificial intelligence, user-generated content, bots, driverless cars and speech-recognition technology. I’m bored of brands commissioning artists to create exhibitions of work with a wafer-thin connection to their product. And I’m especially bored of this relentless fire hydrant of noise endlessly distracting us while the work slowly suffers.”
Not my words, you understand, but the wistful witterings of M&C Saatchi group chief creative officer Justin Tindall for a Private View for Campaign, ironically one of the most boring trade magazines on the market. Cue a hilarious LinkedIn stream and now a mea culpa as he tries to save his scalp.
What was up Justin…had David Kershaw been giving you a hard time? Had you been forced to have a sandwich at your desk instead of going to The Ivy? Had your clients been demanding you do some work to justify your huge salary? Diddums.
Anyway, talking of huge salaries, I see that four of the biggest names (which just so happen to have some of the largest egos) in the direct marketing world have jumped at the chance to teach Iris a thing or two about DM or CRM or customer engagement or whatever it’s called this week.
Iris bosses must have very deep pockets, because these guys don’t come cheap. Shame they couldn’t persuade Iris to put their names above the door, though, as Whitson Andrews Cornwell Spyer (WACS) does have a certain ring to it.
But the news got me thinking, which in itself is a rarity these days as I’m so bored, etc, etc. While this fearsome foursome have no doubt been round the block and back a few times, with a combined experience of nearly a thousand years, once Cornwell exits (two years max, check out his track record), Iris will have an opportunity to bring in a few more big hitters for the ride.
Hopefully, they can afford to recruit the dynamic duo of Marc Nohr and Paul Kitcatt (their money will have run out by then anyway so they might be going cheap), Mel Edwards (well, you have got to have at least one of the sisterhood in there to whip them into shape) and Kevin Roberts (OK, he’s an adman but he could make the tea).
And, what I hear you ask, is the point of all this? Why, they could form Whitson Andrews Nohr Kitcatt Edwards Roberts & Spyer of course. OK, it might be a bit a mouthful and but hey, it would finally turn the WANKERS agency from wet-dream to reality…very messy, too.
It’s been a few years in the making, (didn’t mean it really Xav), but at last it is a real possibility. And, crucially, they certainly won’t be boring…

You can also follow Busty on Twitter @BustyIdol

 

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