Busty loves a game of keepy-uppy

Roses are red, violets are blue, get your arse back in bed, I’ve got a Busty Bonus for you….awww don’t you just love Valentine’s Day?
In fact, I’m penning this week’s column from the rather plush St David’s Hotel and Spa in Weston Super Mare, knee-deep in champagne and chocolates – that’s right, fans, I took the bull by the horn and I’m now officially a WAG.
To be honest, Fiddes Jnr was initially a little reluctant to have anything to do with me when I told him I was from Brighton. Apparently the last time he was in the city the team bus was hijacked by fans of Whitehawk FC, who demanded £500 in cash or they were going to smash up the coach. (For those of you who don’t know the area, Whitehawk make Millwall look like pussies.)
But he soon fell for my charms – and 38DDs – and what fun we’ve had. Put it this way, Fiddes Jnr didn’t have a game last weekend but he’s been bending it in like Beckham all week. In fact, he’s been playing keepy-uppy with little ol’ Busty for days, and my god that boy’s got a lot of potential.
I’m pleased to report he’s got his father’s talented hands and his mother’s Latin charms…I only hope he’ll be able to perform at tomorrow’s top of the table clash with Sutton United otherwise I’m going to be in deep trouble.
Talking of trouble, I see the publisher of Yellow Pages – which went bust last summer with debts of £2bn – has turned to the head of the DM Muffia, the indefatigable Amanda Phillips, to bring the business back from the brink.
Not that I’ve ever had the pleasure of working for her, but my god that woman looks scary.
And I bet our Amanda always gets her way; rumour has it that she is at her scariest when it comes to grabbing the biggest office in the building. Allegedly one of the reasons why she didn’t last very long with Chris Ward at An Abundance was because she demanded an abundance of office space, even though they weren’t exactly attracting an abundance of clients. Don’t say you haven’t been warned Hibu…

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