Busty’s data assets in demand…

I’m afraid my search for the dashing Jonnie Shearer – the self-styled king of Pussy – is not going too well. I’ve read plenty about him, apparently he even has a photo of porn mogul Hugh Hefner drinking Pussy at his 80th birthday, but it seems he’s running scared of me.
Despite all his bravado, the prospect of some Busty fun has got him diving for cover. Still, I haven’t given up all hope, especially as he’s best mates with the minted Branson kids. I mean, they’re going to inherit a whole bloody island so there are deep pockets to get my hands in…
Anyway, I took a break from my quest to blag my way into the IQ Talent Awards at Fabric. I’m not too sure the staff there had ever seen such a crowd, as delegates from the DataIQNow conference descended on one of the capital’s top night clubs.
According to the blurb, the awards are designed “to congratulate the people who day-in, day-out keep the lights on in their marketing department and regularly have those light bulb moments that transform a useful insight into a great idea”.
Bit of a shame then that there wasn’t a single light-bulb on at the venue, as middle-aged men in suits stumbled around trying to find each other with the “tunes” pumping out at full volume.
I did spot the indefatigable DataIQ editor David Reed though – to be fair you couldn’t miss him – complete with shades and a striking native American-print blouson shirt. He’s consistent, that’s for sure…
I even saw a triumvirate of former DM magazine editors in a huddle, with my esteemed boss, Noelle McElhatton and Hugh Filman chewing the, er, fat and reminiscing about the good ol’ days of boozy lunches (watch it – Ed).
To be fair, I was having a great time – I had some of the finest minds in DM desperate to get hold of my data assets – until the doors flung open and suddenly the place was literally teeming with what Jonnie Shearer would undoubtedly call “young pussy”. Damn. Don’t you just hate it when the bright young things steal the limelight?
Talking of which, I see some Ozzie hack called Geoffrey Barker has upset the apple cart by branding many of today’s journalists “talentless, pert breasted reporters”.
He added: “It does not much matter what the babes have to say about the mayhem and tragedy and whatever else attracts the attention of their newsrooms. What matters is how they look.”
Come on Geoffrey it’s the recruitment model that Campaign has embraced for years, although quite how pert Jeremy Lee and Ian Darby’s breasts are these days is another matter…

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