Busty’s not keen on the office bike

BustyI must admit, I don’t normally read this august website until a Friday – sorry boss but I’ve got better things to do most of the time – but this week’s headline “Super pants ad hit where it hurts” did kind of catch my eye.
Apparently, Wireless Armour’s claims that its boxers can protect your fella’s privates from radiation emitted from a mobile have been tossed aside by the ad watchdog, even though Richard Branson wouldn’t be seen dead in anything else.
Not being funny guys, but not many people are likely to swallow the evidence you’ve got, let alone the upholders of truth and decency in the ad industry… I mean can’t you say anything better than your underwear protected rats’ bollocks?
Talking of pants, I see Centaur’s latest brainwave – the Marketing Cycle 2014, a 230-mile, three-day bike ride from London to Paris specifically for marketers – has got a bit of a slow puncture.
According to the blurb, “it’s about marketers getting together: the camaraderie, enjoying the ride, stunning landscapes, and catching up over a few glasses of wine or beer in the evenings”. At £1,100 each, it’s not exactly a bargain is it? I mean you can get to Paris for £70 return on Eurostar, which, incidentally, I notice is the way Marketing Week editor Ruth Mortimer will be travelling. Sloppy, that would never have happened in Stuart “Procrustes” Smith’s day.
What it doesn’t say is that a cyclist’s lot is often not a happy one. According to The Vicious Cycling: Bicycling Related Urogenital Disorders, it’s about genitalia numbness (which affects up to 90% of the cyclists) and erectile dysfunction (affecting up to 24%). Other common symptoms for cyclists include priapism (that’s a permanently erect cock to those not in the know), penile thrombosis, infertility, hematuria (blood in your urine), prostatitis (swollen prostate gland), and perineal nodular induration (a third testicle…and I kid you not!). (Maybe it’s a job for Super pants.)
No wonder then, despite declaring there are only “limited places” on the event, Centaur is still tweeting like mad that today is the “final deadline”. Expect a few more “final deadlines” in the coming weeks…
Mind you, good old Centaur does seem to love a bit of Twitter. Earlier this week, it was even seeking advice for slogans for the Festival of Marketing itself, declaring “we want your help!” How about “I’d rather eat my own liver than go to the Festival of Marketing”?

You can also follow Busty on Twitter @BustyIdol

1 Comment on "Busty’s not keen on the office bike"

  1. Busty’s not keen on the office bike…or Centaur’s cycle challenge http://t.co/r7jhtQpxJS @BustyIdol

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