Ever felt like giving it all up girls and becoming a Tradwife? I must admit, I hadn’t until this week’s double whammy of McContent & Design (remember them?) not making it onto the shortlist for either the Megxit account or the Campaign Customer Engagement Agency of the Year.
Quite why we have been double-snubbed is beyond me. OK, I admit that my musings can run a little close to the boner sometimes (Doc Johnson Fist anyone?) but our work for the Vagina Museum stands proud and our proposals for Megan and Harry would’ve definitely turned them from national pariahs back to national treasures once more. Ah well, their loss.
And, I’m sure one day we will get over not making it onto the Campaign “by the way, sorry we didn’t pick a Customer Engagement Agency of the Decade last month but this one will be announced at a very expensive dinner which will make us far more money” shortlist.
It’s just that in the meantime, we’re going to have to put up with annoying tossers from Havas Helia (not you Xav!), Merkle, MRM McCann, Ogilvy, Proximity London, TMW Unlimited and Wunderman Thompson banging on about how great they are.
Well, they’re not that great. Nearly all, bar Merkle, have been around in their various guises for decades, but, according to Campaign, at least, they have all been shite for the past TEN YEARS.
Never mind, now they’ve been selected to go through to the final round of judging of this year’s award, to be verified by Campaign’s editorial team (surely not the same editorial team which ran the article: “Are the days of dedicated CRM agencies numbered?”)
Still, they’ve all taken it “like men” and swallowed the nonsense about how “the industry has only itself to blame for Campaign’s failure to select a customer engagement agency of the decade”. No doubt they also agree with the sentiment of “how fascinating it will be to see whether Campaign will be naming a Customer Engagement Agency of the Decade next time around. Watch this space”. Yeah right, as if Campaign will still be going by then.
Anyway, as I said, “Hi-diddle-dee-dee it’s a Tradwife life for me”. And what’s not to like? Hubby is out all day, and I get to do whatever I like with my allowance so long as I get the dinner on the table when he gets home (surely that’s what JustEat’s for?) and have his clothes washed and pressed (that’ll be sorted by Click Clean Clothes).
There is, of course, one small catch. I HAVEN’T GOT A BLOODY BOYFRIEND YET, LET ALONE A FRIGGIN’ HUSBAND. Ah well, once I get my flowery frock, they’ll be frolicking round me like flies round a cow’s arse…