Forget the two-bob bit, give us back a three-day week

foxy 414“Since you went away, I’ve been losin’ my sleep at night, never thought there’d come a day, when you’d be back to make everything right, but how wrong could I be, ’cause now you’re here with me. Bringin’ on back the good times, takin’ away the pain; Bringin’ on back the good times, and I’m living on air glad you’re there…”

Yep, with the help of that late Sixties classic Love Affair tune, we’re coming over all nostalgic this week dear Foxy fans; lucky old “all nostalgic”.

Of course, we’re joining the world and his wife, her wife, husband, civil partner, lover, friend with benefit, office affair, “them”, “they”, singletons and the “self-partnered” to turn the clock back 70 years to celebrate/commiserate the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee.

Now, whether you are a dyed-in-the-wool Royalist or a rampant Republican, most people need little excuse to get legless on a Bank Holiday weekend.

Annoyingly, the Government has to go and ruin it by jumping aboard the “nostalgia train” and insisting we should be returning to the “glory years” of imperial measurement – permanently. Now it is launching a consultation to look at where it “makes sense” to incorporate or switch to the likes of feet and yards, and pints and gallons, with traders apparently free to choose which they use.

So, should marketers be getting ready for the return of pounds, shillings and pence; the florin, the farthing, the ha’penny, the thrupenny bit, the sixpence, the two-bob bit, the half a crown, the crown, the half-sovereign, the ten-bob note, the pound note, the five pound note, the guinea and the full sovereign?

That’s going to be a whole barrel of fun when trying to work out your every day low pricing strategy; even more laughs with online shopping.

Whatever next, you may ask? Well, as we now know, in post-Brexit Britain, anything could happen, so brace yourselves for the return of the Poor Law, the workhouse, slavery, torture, the birch, the cane, fox-hunting, the stocks, deportation, power cuts and hanging. That would certainly get rid of the undesirables that this Government seems to so despise, enabling them to be in power forever. (They don’t call me Red Foxy for nothing, you know!)

If you ask me, this tonne of bullshit doesn’t make an ounce of sense.

And, of course, the one throwback which we could all do with, a return to the Seventies’ three-day week, is about as likely as the full truth about Partygate. Grr.

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