Haaaaaaaappy New Year to all! Not that there is too much to be happy about to be honest; January is normally bad enough but add in a large of dollop of Covid, a new lockdown and an expensive Brexit and you could be forgiven for thinking that 2022 can’t come soon enough.
Sadly, my attempt to have a “reet, ey up cockers” Bolton Christmas was scuppered from the outset by Bungling Boris and his Blundering Buffoons; Stagecoach even cancelled the Megabus, although at 5 hours and 45 minutes door to door, I wasn’t that gutted.
And, to be fair, I might have missed out on my Nan’s world famous Christmas dinner – for which she manages to get roast turkey and all the trimmings into a giant pie – but we went to the Indian Cottage Tandoori instead, where we had a massive blow-out.
Thankfully, proprietor Abdul (yes, that’s his real name) put on a great show with his Festive Special. (Well, in fact it was exactly the same menu only the waiters had their baubles out for all to enjoy…)
Anyway, as if this year hasn’t started badly enough, now the Decision Marketing Nerve Centre is bracing itself for McKELVEY’S 60th BIRTHDAY. I know, he doesn’t look a day over 59 but apparently that will all change on Wednesday next week, when our esteemed boss joins the Saga Brigade.
The good news it is that, due to lockdown, all the bars, pubs, and clubs of Sussex are firmly shut, so we won’t be forced to have a night out with him.
The bad news is that, due to lockdown, we’re all living together and that means we are all going to have to stay in and put up with him ALL NIGHT LONG!
As anyone who has spent time with McKelvey on the lash will testify, it can go either way, but one thing is sure, there is nothing quite like a MASSIVE CHARLIE BENDER.
Roll on 2022…