Foxy has a planet-sized problem on World Earth Day

foxy 414And so dear Foxy fans to Runcorn. Where else, you may ask? Well, funnily enough, I am asking myself the same question as anywhere else has got to be better than this.

Don’t get me wrong, the birthplace of John Bishop, Phil Collins, Kym Marsh and Nicola Roberts does have some merits, although the biggest one I’ve found so far is the one they found years ago… the road out of here.

To quote one local guide – believe it or not this place doesn’t even feature on the Visit North West website – “Basically, Runcorn is full of the type of people who shouldn’t have been allowed to enter the gene pool, but as if that isn’t bad enough, they have interbred to produce even more. The offspring can barely read and write, their prefix of choice being “fookin”, in the thickest, plastic Scouse accent.”

And that was one I could actually publish…

So why? Well, of course, my esteemed bosses have found the cheapest place to have a Decision Marketing Team Weekend Away, with our Premier Inn charging just 20 quid a night.

Now, as everyone knows, I do like a big lad but these locals make even the Bolton Massive and McFatty look like The Chippendales and there is a certain irony to spending World Earth Day with people who need saving before they become the size of planet themselves?

Still back to the matter in hand, and our weekend agenda: “What Can Decision Marketing Do To Save The Planet?

Well, as you know, we already work from home (no long, gas guzzling daily trips to the office); we don’t have a print version (no tress are harmed in the making of this nonsense); we never have the heating on (McKelvey’s too mean); and we recycle everything (including most of our news coverage and sometimes even this column).

In fact, it seems the only thing we could really cut back on is the electricity that powers Decision Marketing itself. But as everyone knows, the Earth would be a much poorer place without us…

You can now follow Foxy on Twitter and Instagram (although don’t expect too much)


Print Friendly