So, girls, are you looking forward to International Women’s Day? A chance to celebrate the sisterhood, show those pesky men that without us the world would be a far poorer, and ultimately, much messier and disorganised place?
While this year’s IWD has caused havoc to media schedules – a Sunday FFS – I must admit, I’m looking forward to it much more now that I have Desperate Dan to satisfy my every whim and fancy. OK, he’s a Southern Softie (yet hard in all the right places) but two weeks in and to borrow a phrase, it’s all going gangbusters.
And he’s promised me an extra special COW PIE on Sunday, followed by CHOCOLATE TART – double pastry, yum. He also wants me to draw up a wishlist of things he can do for me, just in case I haven’t dropped enough hints yet. Bless.
To be honest, what I would really like is to do a Marc Nohr. What, we hear you ask, do you really want to train as a Krag Maga master, the Jewish art of self-defence, which is a combination of boxing, Muay Thai, judo, jujitsu and wrestling, devised by the Israeli Defence Forces?
Of course not, all I really want is a four-day week; the difficulty as ever is persuading my bolshie bosses – that’s Fatty and Fatter to you lot – that less is more.
Admittedly, I’m not quite in the “getting in at seven or eight in the morning and still being there at midnight” world that Marky Marc recently told the Beeb he was in. Then again, I am not earning the mega-bucks he was on either. In fact, from where I’m sitting, even the gig economy looks lucrative.
Still, from the coverage Marc’s been getting, you’d think he’s the only boss in the world who’s a part-timer yet Fatty’s been part-time for the past decade and now Fatter has joined the slacker gang, too.
I realise that Desperate Dan will have his work cut out but, as I’ve said, he’s got a square jaw, horny stubble and big strong hands and if push comes to shove he’ll just have to batter my bosses into submission or else.
And who says women have no power?