“Well I wish it could be Christmas every day, When the kids start singing and the band begins to play, Oh, I wish it could be Christmas every day, Let the bells ring out for Christmas.” Yep, you guessed it, I have been bashing them out all week…and the festive tunes, too.
Now, I know there’s still a couple of weeks to go until the big day but I am signing off early this year, just don’t tell anyone.
Mind you, you’d be lucky to find either of my esteemed bosses; they were last seen leaving some posh eatery in Brighton mumbling about how they haven’t got enough clients to support their luxury lifestyle…
To be fair, that’s one of the reasons for my early exit; out of sight is out of mind – they can’t possibly make me redundant if I am not here. Onwards and upwards as they say. It wouldn’t be the last column of the year – although hopefully not the last column ever – without the Christmas singalong.
Of course, it’s more apologies to poor old Mariah Carey and this year we are channelling our inner zythophile and coming over all craft ale (lucky old craft ale). So, please join us as we bid farewell to 2023 and good riddance…
I don’t want a lot for Christmas
But plenty of beers I still need
I really do love a Sweet Baby Jesus
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want a Bitter Bitch for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas are brews
I don’t want a lot for Christmas
But a Velvet Merkin I still need
A Belligerent Ass I would love
Underneath the Christmas tree
I promise that I’ll slurp Buttface
Right in front of the fireplace
Kilt Lifter will make me happy
And bring a smile on Christmas Day
I just want a Sex Panther for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas are brews
I need a little extra this Christmas
Just something to feast my eyes upon
You know Big Cock Bock is my fave
But please don’t make me wait too long
‘Cause nothing else will do tonight
With my mouth open wide
What more can I do?
Readers, all I want for Christmas are brews
All I want for Christmas are brews, baby
All I want for Christmas are brews, baby
All I want for Christmas are brews, baby
All I want for Christmas are brews, baby
Have a good one. See you next year xx
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