And so to the parochial Campaign School Reports, with Havas Media Network, Mother, PHD UK, and VCCP indulging themselves in a massive round of back-slapping after receiving top marks for their performance from a twentysomething journalist. If that’s praise, I think I’d rather be shot.
Luckily, dear Foxy fans, with Easter looming, I have been far too busy coming over all chocolatey (lucky old chocolatey) to give a toss. But while I like nothing more than stuffing a BBB (that’s a big brown bar to you lot) down my throat, it has been well documented that chocolate not only makes you feel great, it also has a host of benefits.
You see, chocolate can lead to reduced blood pressure and improved cholesterol; help combat diabetes; give you a healthier heart; prevent liver damage; give you a valuable range of minerals, including copper, iron, magnesium, manganese, phosphorus and zinc; and boost your mental health.
Not only that but the flavonoid epicatechin, found in dark chocolate, can also increase the production of nitric oxide in the blood and lift your athletic performance; while dark chocolate can also boost your mental health; and finally even help fight cancer.
Is it too much to ask that chocolate might to silence Donald Trump, give Nigel Farage a kicking and get me a pay rise? You never know…
One thing it definitely does, is give our friends over at IllicitEncounters.com a rock hard boost in sign-ups, with Easter one of the busiest times of the year for people looking to get a bit on the side.
According to a spokesperson: “Every year without fail, we see an abnormal amount of people signing up to the site around Easter. While we initially dismissed this as an anomaly, there’s too much evidence that points toward our increased consumption of chocolate around this time of year as the culprit.
“While chocolate is evidently a natural aphrodisiac, it’s also commonly used by those who are looking to experiment in the bedroom, and a lack of an enthralling sex life is one of the main reasons our members are looking to have an affair to begin with.”
In fact, the site surveyed 300 of its members and found that a third of them used chocolate in an erotic fashion, while over half would like to.
Over half said that spreading chocolate on their partner’s chest made them more aroused, while a third said that they couldn’t resist licking chocolate off any body part. Dirty buggers.
And, if anything, it once again proves that adland is too busy congratulating itself to really get under the skin of the nation. You see, according to the IllicitEncounters report, a finger of fudge is just not enough…
Foxy has ditched X but is still on Instagram, just don’t get too excited as she’s never there
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