Jezza and the terror of Teddington

They say that journalists working on the ad industry’s very own wank mag, Campaign, have the life of Riley. Courted day and night by those desperate to get a few column inches, not to mention PRs desperate to get a few column feet for their clients, this time of year they are often knee-deep in champagne, iPads, chocolates and fine wines.
Not that I’m jealous, you understand – last year I got a whole acrid chocolate advent calendar to myself – but with the finishing touches being put to this year’s Campaign Annual (or whatever it’s called nowadays), the run-up to Christmas is usually “hamper-tastic”.
However, I get the feeling all’s not well this year, and it’s all down to one word: Middlesex. That’s right folks, from Monday, all your favourite Campaign hacks will be in Broom Road, Teddington.
Of course, the ravishingly handsome Ian Darby – he can have a Busty Bonus anytime he wants – saw the writing on the wall and left months ago. Old habits die hard, though, as he’s had to post a message on Twitter for agencies to stop bombarding him with gifts to get themselves into the Annual, because they haven’t even noticed he doesn’t work there anymore.
But his former side-kick Jeremy huntin’, shootin’ fishin’ Lee is so pissed off he’s actually asked his Facebook mates whether they know anything to do in Teddington. Most suggestions range from “throw yourself in the river” to “why not have a wank” with a rather snide “how about a career change” chucked in for good measure.
Luckily for Jezza, his PR contacts are slightly more positive. And with the thousands of pounds they’ve invested in taking him to the finest restaurants in London on the line, it’s easy to see why. The last thing they want is for him to quit.
Yet it could be said his bosses at Haymarket may be thinking differently. In fact, it’s hard to see how they could have found somewhere more difficult for him to get to. Even the most hardened commuter would balk at three hours each way to and from Hertfordshire.
Not that Jezza should be paranoid…Haymarket has already held talks with Richmond upon Thames College about sharing its new UK headquarters in an “education and enterprise” deal.
Media Week reported in the summer that “the proposals could see Haymarket working closely with the college, potentially sharing resources and skills” – ie all the journos will be replaced by students. Agency lunches could soon be a distant memory…a crate of Pot Noodles anyone?

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