As the countdown to the merriest of days dwindles to a mere 17, dear Foxy fans, the season of festivities looms larger than a sorcerer’s spellbook. Alas, as the day of merriment approaches, it can pose a peril to the future of one’s relationships, much like a dragon’s fiery breath.
Fear not, for I, your humble guide, have found the most perfect gift for all of you who are scratching your heads and wondering what on earth to buy your wife, husband, civil partner, lover, friend with benefit, office affair, “them”, “they”, singleton, “self-partnered” and transitioning trans.
Yep, you guessed it, everyone’s favourite wank site has launched yet another clothing range, just in time for Christmas.
Or should I say: “Pornhub, the world’s premier adult entertainment community, has unveiled the launch of a collaboration with world-renowned artist and Japanese illustrator Hajime Sorayama.”
But that’s not all. “Celebrated for his distinctive fusion of sensuality and technology, the Pornhub x Sorayama collaboration comprises a limited-edition apparel collection, marking the first-ever reimagination of the iconic Pornhub logo. The specially designed logo is now featured on the Pornhub website, replacing their iconic emblem in celebration of the launch.”
Hold on, we’ve been here before. Only a few weeks ago, PornHub announced that “visionary designer” Shayne Oliver had crafted The Shayne Oliver x Pornhub Collection.
However, that turned out to be two T-shirts and a hoodie which looked like they had been pulled out of the local charity collection bins, complete with rips and holes.
So, convinced that this collection couldn’t be that bad, off I went to the dedicated website to check it out.
After all, Pornhub’s head of brand and community Alex Kekesi had promised me: “Hajime Sorayama is a visionary, whose work consistently sparks contemplation and delivers profound commentary. We are honored to work with a living legend of this caliber and hope that our fans are as excited about the arrival of this latest line as we are.
“Among the highlights is the striking Pornhub x Sorayama emblem alongside Sorayama’s visionary depiction of an angelic fembot and devilish mascbot in a sensual embrace. Complementing the apparel, the collaboration also introduces a chrome embossed keychain, featuring the reimagined Pornhub logo, alongside a vinyl sticker— an iconic token commemorating this fusion between eroticism and artistry.”
The thing is, sorry to disappoint you Alex, you might be head of brand but a couple of $69 T-shirts and $153 hoodies, a $298 key chain and a $12 sticker a collection does not make, no matter how hard you try to push it down our throats.
And they wonder why marketers get a bad rap…
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