Never mind bollocks, here’s Busty

gossip-three-23-300x30011Oh dear. It appears that us girls have had it wrong for years. I know that’s one hell of a confession – after all, we sisters are never not right – but after millions of years gauging a man by the size of his manhood, it now transpires that we should’ve been looking at what lies beneath…bollocks are the real way to judge a fella.
According to a study by the Emory University in the States (haven’t they got better things to do, I hear you ask?), the smaller the gonads, the better the father.
But it’s not just humans either. Levels of promiscuity and testicle size are also strongly linked in animals; those with the largest pair tend to shag around. (Mind you, I suspected as much on the film-set of my latest movie, Yummy Mummy Busty Cums Over All Lusty, which, as you may recall, was filmed in the panda enclosure at Edinburgh zoo).
Anyway, luckily I had the chance to test out the theory this week, when I went to Stuart “I’m the daddy now” Archibald’s baby shower in a pub in Soho, which just so happened to be next door to a lap-dancing club…a complete coincidence I’m sure.
Suffice to say, it would seem that Stuey’s bollocks have witnessed a major transformation over the past month, as he was regaling everyone with tales of how he’d attended the birth of his darling little girl, Ophelia, in Sydney Hospital.
All went pretty well apparently, although at one stage the midwives were a little worried when Stu nearly fainted. The other bit went without a hitch though. Not that his brother was too impressed – it’s just not the done thing for blokes to go to the hospital in Oz cobber, you’re supposed to be down the boozer with your mates, evidently. At this point Stuey’s “new dad” gems were obviously more like petit pois.
So, I enquired, where’s Ophelia now? Can we see the little treasure? Hmm not quite. “Oh darling, she’s back in Oz with her mum of course. I’m over here on my own,” came the rather worrying response.
Not that I caught a glimpse but, my god, his nadgers must be bursting out of his trousers now. (Maybe someone in the Sunset Strip next door will be able to enlighten us all).
Talking of family jewels, I see the bosses at Centaur Media – a company in which my esteemed editor takes a special interest – have just written off £39m from the value of the marketing and finance publications. Not too sure I’d trust them with my baby, to be honest, but one thing’s for certain, they must have the biggest kerbangers in publishing…

Don’t forget to order your copy of Busty’s book, The World According to Busty Idol and Friends by clicking this link >>>>>
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3 Comments on "Never mind bollocks, here’s Busty"

  1. RT @BustyIdol: Busty reveals who’s got the biggest bollocks in marketing http://t.co/jiQvbPliZc #digitalmarketing #datamarketing #directmar…

  2. RT @BustyIdol: Busty reveals who’s got the biggest bollocks in marketing http://t.co/jiQvbPliZc #digitalmarketing #datamarketing #directmar…

  3. RT @BustyIdol: Busty reveals who’s got the biggest bollocks in marketing http://t.co/jiQvbPliZc #digitalmarketing #datamarketing #directmar…

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