“You’re my funny valentine, Sweet comic valentine, You make me smile with my heart.” Yeh right, there’s about as much chance of me getting a poxy Valentine’s card as there is me ever getting another job in publishing.
Ah well, I have other things to cheer me up; it only takes a couple of minutes reading our lesser rival magazines and my not inconsiderable sides are fit to burst (and that’s without the Valentine’s CHOCOLATES, too).
Take Campaign for instance (yep, I’m sorry, but it has such a rich vein of ridicule I simply can’t resist). Last week, it was the male, pale and stale A-List (it even implored them to wear this status “lightly”) and Debbie Morrison was not impressed. This week, it’s turned into The Voice.
All very laudable and worthy, of course, bigging up the BAME community, although the word “community” might suggest that they could have found more than a dozen for their “CamBame” feature.
Sadly, the reality-check came within minutes when “CamBame” published research which showed that just 12% of women of colour working in adland are in senior roles, falling to 6% when it comes to black women.
Meanwhile, men of colour fare slightly better than their female colleagues, with a quarter in senior roles – but still way below the 34% of white men in senior roles. Apparently, the report concluded that adland is still moving too slowly in promoting women of colour into senior roles. No shit Sherlock.
Over at Marketing Week, however, it’s business as usual. The magazine which allegedly tried to convince Lenny Henry that the “male, pale and stale” industry had moved on by claiming there would be a “sea of black faces” at the Marketing Week Awards is now trying to convince marketers that they are heroes…Really?
Yep, under the headline “Take great confidence from your superpowers”, editor Russell Parsons (helped by some poorly paid sub-editor no doubt) enthused: “Having the ability to be of value to customers, while assisting colleagues and the company in delivering profitable growth, is something marketers should be proud of.”
And what captivating image did they use to lure you into such nonsense? Why a picture of a headless male, pale and stale in an ill-fitting shirt, tie and suit, with a pair of wings scribbled on his back in red biro. The 6-strong art desk, who used to work there back in the day, must be crying on their Magic Markers (or magic mushrooms).
Still, “your looks are laughable, un-photographable, Yet, you’re my favourite work of art”. Happy Valentine!