BDSM goes down well in the West

It’s funny how adversity turns into an opportunity isn’t it? You may recall last week how I found myself stuck in Cheltenham after being abandoned by my Victor Chandler account director Steve.
No money, and, even more annoyingly, no Sarah Leather Knee High Riding Boots from LK Bennett, I found myself on my knees in front of Blue Sheep’s Ian Lovatt. Luckily, I’d managed to blag my way into his hospitality tent for the Gold Cup and was soon spreading the love among the movers and shakers of the South-West.
To be honest, I was a little worried at first; I mean, this is Fred West country after all. And when I felt a hand on my arse and heavy breathing on my neck, followed by a thick West Country accent saying “’ello my lovely, fancy a guddle on this and a spot of nummet”, I feared the worst.
However, it was only the lovely Ian Bates from Indicia offering me a glass of pink champagne and lunch… And what a lovely bloke he is, too. In fact, the place was chockablock with lovely DM agency folk. You could say the South-West mafia was out in force: Ian ‘I’m a trained opera singer you know’ Stockley, Ian ‘I work in DM but I want to be a publisher really’ Hughes, and even the indefatigable Heather ‘now that’s what I call big hair’ Westgate.
In fact, the only person I didn’t see was the DMA’s handsome boss, Chris Combemale, which was a bit of a surprise because he usually turns up to everything. Opening of an envelope, anyone?
Anyway, it transpires that the South-West is where it’s at, at the moment, and the three “Ians” certainly liked the idea of some BDSM – my agency Busty’s Direct Sales & Marketing, of course – and there was soon a bidding war raging over who wanted to get a slice of it. Before I knew it, I was being promised all sorts of sweeteners to strike a deal.
Of course, I accepted all their advances – including a new pair of Sarah Leather Knee High Riding Boots from LK Bennett – then spotted Steve’s soft-top Bentley in the car park.
It transpires that he’d managed to save his job after all and was back in time for the Gold Cup. And as much as I enjoyed my time in Cheltenham, I’m afraid I’m a London girl at heart, so once Steve had lavished me and ravished me I accepted his grovelling invitation for a lift home.
Believe you me, though, he’s paying for that little stunt big time…

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