“Oh, Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling, From glen to glen, and down the mountain side. The summer’s gone, and all the roses falling, It’s you, it’s you must go and I must bide.” Yep, this weekend I am off to the Emerald Isle to celebrate the joys of St Patrick’s Day.
Now, sadly a pint of Guinness is a whopping nine syns on Slimming World and I am only supposed to have 15 a day but, hey, it seems I might have my mind – and my body – on other things if the results of a study by everyone’s favourite adult entertainment site, Pornhub, are anything to go by.
You see, when it comes to sex, the Irish not only watch more porn than most other nationalities (hence why they are always smiling), they especially go weak at the knees for us English girls. Apparently, views on the site for “British” are a whopping +343% higher than anywhere else in the world (including England, Wales and Scotland), with “strawberry blonde”, “mouthy” and “foxy babe” also scoring very highly.
But it is when the Pornhub analysts broke down top relative search terms by region, that Ireland’s vast potential was exposed.
Naturally, many are far too explicit to detail in this family magazine, but in the northern region of Donegal, they can’t get enough “dirty” porn, while “BBC” goes down well in Sligo, “rough” is big in Monaghan, and “tiny” takes the top spot in Cavan. Heading south, it appears that the good citizens of Kerry like nothing more than a spot of “amateur” while in Waterford “big Latinas” are the order of the day.
Finally, in Galway they are cock-a-hoop about “deep-throat”, so “the pipes, the pipes are calling” big style down there.
Yet, as ever, I hear you ask, what is she banging on about this week and what has this got to do with the glorious world of highly-targeted, insight-led, data-driven personalised marketing communications?
Well, let’s be honest not much. But, for me personally, at least it means I should be in for a great weekend, as I continue my quest to be a winner, a synner and a helluva lot thinner…
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