Now, I know I’ve said it before – and no doubt I’ll say it again and again and again – but it’s not easy being me. I mean, as if it’s not hard enough juggling the three jobs I have on this august organ with being head of new business at McContent & Design (remember them?), at the moment I don’t even have anyone to take out my frustrations on after a hard day’s slog.
Even worse, Easter’s looming and I’ve been thinking that this year will be bereft of posh Easter eggs for me to scoff. Luckily, help has been at hand, after I spotted a fascinating article on every love rat’s favourite website, IllicitEncouters.com.
So, dear Foxy fans, I would like to invite you to enter the world of polyamorous relationships, which apparently are becoming more and more common, as people explore intimate connections with more than one person.
However, just when I was beginning to imagine being lavished with Easter eggs from numerous admirers, it turns out that it is far more complex than you may think. In fact, the world of polyamory is “poly-crazy”.
First, there is hierarchical polyamory, with primary partners and secondary partners, and, perhaps unsurprisingly, non-hierarchical polyamory, with multiple relationships that do not have any hierarchy or ranking. Then there is parallel polyamory, where everyone is aware of each other’s partners and relationships, but there is no real contact between everyone.
Meanwhile, kitchen table polyamory is where all partners can sit together around a table and have open and honest conversations about their romantic or sexual relationships, and solo polyamory is more for people who like their own space and like to maintain relationships on their own terms.
Mono-poly relationships are where one partner will identify as polyamorous while the other partner identifies as monogamous. And, finally, triad relationships are when there are three people in a “couple” together, they all live together and share finances, but they will also each have multiple relationships of their own.
Of course, as always, there will be “poly-people” wondering what this has got to do with marketing. Well, imagine how “poly-tastic” your ad campaigns could be if you manage to get through to these “poly-spenders”. And, very helpfully, IllicitEncounters.com has millions of them on its database.
I for one am not among them. As a newly converted polyphobic, I’ll take the single life any day. In fact, I would rather buy all my own Easter eggs than have to put up with all those “poly-pervs”.