It's a hard, hard life being Busty

I know I keep banging on about this, but it’s not easy being me, you know. Here I am toiling away in DecisionMarketing Towers – well, McKelvey’s front-room to be precise – when everyone else is out having fun.
Ever since he found out that he’s part of the Jewish Mafia, my esteemed boss has taken to disappearing on a Friday in preparation for Shabbat – that’s Saturday for all you heathens.
Not that I am fully convinced, as apparently it’s supposed to start at sunset on Friday night, although obviously at this time of the year you are lucky to see the sun at all. (By the way, the tickets to his circumcision are selling like hot-cakes.)
At the risk of being rude (moi?), I hear he was hardly ever seen on a Friday when he had a proper job either, yet I suspect this had a little less to do with Shabbat and a lot more to do with him dining out at most of London’s finest establishments with his contacts.
Mind you, I did get my own back on Monday as I joined the estimated 350,000 British workers for National Sickie Day. (Incidentally, for those trying to contact Ian ‘George Clooney’ McCawley at Limelight on Monday, he wasn’t actually off sick for once. He was at home with his “wife” as it was her birthday. Aw bless.)
Anyway, I came back on Tuesday morning to be greeted with the cold shoulder. Apparently most people who take the first Monday of February off are actually going for a job interview and old McKelvey thought I’d been tapping up a new employer (fat chance…who’d have me?).
Still, in my absence we had had the web designers in (well, some bloke in Budapest) following complaints from someone at Acxiom that the text was too small. IS THIS BETTER FOR YOU MR BLINDY?
Actually I quite like the new design, my motto has always been “big is beautiful”.
Talking of which, we have had to call out a computer engineer (well, McKelvey’s son) as my laptop has been infected with the latest Facebook virus. Serves me right, I suppose, but I simply had to click on that video doing the rounds entitled “Busty blonde takes it doggystyle from agency boss, part 3”. You see, I was a little concerned that my antics with Mr Lida had been exposed like that couple in the Christchurch office.
I’m pleased to say it wasn’t us, but I’m not out of the woods just yet – I still haven’t found parts 1 and 2. See, I told you it wasn’t easy being me…