“Feeling hot, hot, hot, feeling hot, hot, hot.” Yep, unlike some not a million miles away from me, I’m loving the current heatwave, even though my “touch of ginge” means I can’t really sit out in direct sun without getting frazzled to death.
Still, I must admit I have been in quite a chipper mood this week, as it marks the start of the DM Girls’ Getaway (Foxy’s French Adventure) 2.0 – Languedoc-Roussillon here we come. More of which later…
Then up popped an email up from “business analyst” Annie, which kind of spoilt the moment, for a moment. And I quote:
“Dear decisionmarketing.co.uk. You can’t expect your decisionmarketing.co.uk website to increase your revenue if no-one can find you as you do not appear in search results. Now, I will show your website error and the best possible solution. Do you want to see this and know how to fix it?”
What a bloody cheek. Who is this Annie, I wondered. Then, of course, she revealed her grubby hand: “If you are interested then please type ‘Send me the proposal’ to this email, along with £1,500 and I will forward it straight away to you. Stay Safe!”
The thing is, she found us didn’t she, so the SEO ranking can’t be that bad? Besides, why would we splash out £1,500 to a complete stranger, when we could spend that on our holiday wardrobe?
Talking of which, we are really pushing the boat out this year and flying down, with our mystery benefactor (loose lips sink ships; they’re not much fun either) chartering us a private jet from Brighton City Airport (which just so happens to be a stone’s throw away from here).
Then Jean-Claude (he’s still lush!) is picking us up at the other end in his new super-sized tour bus – he’s upgraded from a Winnebago Forza to the Horizon no less – and taking us to our final destination, the Decision Marketing French House. He will also be servicing us on a regular basis as well as providing anything else we want over the next few weeks.
Thankfully, McKelvey’s Decision Marketing Holiday Bus is now a distant memory. Not only does the Horizon have a suspension and four wheels, it boasts rear entry, a massive dining area, king- and emperor-sized beds, mega TVs, a cinema room, a hot tub, a jacuzzi and the Winegard Trav’ler automatic HDTV satellite system, as well as a robust SuperStructure, powered patio awnings, and an automatic levelling system to boot.
So, screw you Annie, we don’t actually want anyone to find us, on or offline.
Bon vacances!
Follow Foxy on X and Instagram if you must, but don’t get too excited as I’m never there
