They say desperate times call for desperate measures, so I’m guessing that over at Marketing Week Live things must be pretty fraught if its marketing is anything to go.
There I was minding my own business, when suddenly up popped an email under the heading: “The Duchess of Cambridge loves Marketing Week Live.”
Really? Has she nothing better to do? Well, these days she has, as the email went on to explain that “it was only a few short years ago that then Kate Middleton attended Marketing Week Live. Don’t believe us? Well, luckily we’ve got the video to prove it! Since it’s good enough for royalty, why not register now and experience it for yourself”.
Er, so not quite the Duchess of Cambridge then. Now, if they could get a video of Pippa Middleton’s arse wandering around the show, the place would be packed in no time.
But if mutterings from other members of the marketing community are anything to go by, only royalty can afford the entrance fee. For that outlay, I for one would want a bit more fun than traipsing around Olympia with a load of marketing bores…
Talking of, er, fun, I see everyone’s favourite online adult shop – Lovehoney.co.uk – is looking for a new agency to give it a hand with its branding, quite literally it seems.
In 2013, the company became the first ever TV advertiser you say “sex toys” on British TV. But one product which could vex even the most creative minds in the land – and definitely keep them up all night – is the eye-watering Doc Johnson Belladonna’s Bitch Fist.
Whether it comes with a recommendation from the Duchess of Cambridge is not known but according to the blurb, the Belladonna is “ready to satisfy your wildest fantasies”.
“Moulded directly from the porn star’s fist, with authentic detailing and minimal tapering for a sizeable challenge, the dimensions of this toy mean lube is a must.” (An understatement if ever I read one.)
I’m sure Jacques de Cock, our favourite marketing guru, would have something to say about it, but as far as I’m concerned they can stick it where the sun don’t shine. Then again, I can think of quite a few agency luvvies who deserve just that…
You can also follow Busty on Twitter @BustyIdol
