Why everyone’s after a bit of Busty

Blimey, I’ve been rushed off my arse this week, dear readers; in fact my feet have hardly touched the ground since I suggested in last week’s column that I was looking for a Mark, Rob and Pete – apparently the names of fellas who make bad husbands – for a bit of extra-marital…
You could say that I’ve been lying back and thinking of the expensive, luxury gifts they have been promising, ever since. But it seems it’s not just Mark, Rob, and Pete that are after my 38DDs…Steve, Adrian, Colin, Chris, Simon and a couple of Dicks have shown more than a bit of interest in a fling, too.
And it would appear I’m not alone in seeking a bit on the side. According to a new survey carried out by dating site Victoria Milan, worldwide companies lose over $17m daily due to staff trying to cheat on their partners. In fact, on average workers spend nearly an hour and a half per day of work time hunting down an illicit affair. (You can’t make this stuff up, can you?)
According to the press release, Victoria Milan – set up by, er, “happily married media executive Sigurd Vedal in 2010” – is one of the world’s most successful anonymous social networks for men and women seeking a secret affair. Hmm might be worth a shot then, although why they sent out a press release to grass up their customers is anyone’s guess.
One couple who will definitely not be looking on there are Phil Keevill and Simon Kershaw, whose “bromance” is back on track. According to the happy couple, they spent a “very enjoyable (and productive) day reunited” and claimed they hadn’t actually done any creative work together as a team for about ten years “but it seemed like yesterday”.
Maybe all those long lunches have addled the brain, but I thought they actually had any agency together. Who could forget Keevill Lee Kershaw and Keevill Barton Kershaw? Only Keevill and Kershaw it seems…
One bloke who seems to be taking a rather relaxed approach to agency life is Mr Huntin’, Shootin’, Fishin’ himself, VCCP me’s Ben Stephens. Now you might think that our Ben would be working his arse off these days, given the fact that he’s now the only remaining member of the management team. Forget it – he’s been living it up in Goa…although, as he posted online that it was “nice to be back on solids”, maybe he’s been living it up a little too much.
Anyway, must dash, Victoria Milan is beckoning me…

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