Why the call back to the office is ‘full steamy ahead’

Oh the joys of working from home…what’s not to like? Well, apparently it’s not for everyone. You see, while some in the industry are fiercely resisting the call back to their desks, others are grabbing hold of it with both hands, quite literally.

How come, we hear you ask; don’t they like spending all day in their PJs, having endless tea breaks, countless trips to the shop, and an afternoon nap, while avoiding those tedious “water cooler” moments?

That, sadly, we can’t answer. But one thing is sure, the nation’s love rats are gagging to get back to the office because it makes arranging an affair far easier than working from home ever has – and it is the commute, not the office, which allows them to really go “full steamy ahead” with their lover.

Yep, according to cheaters’ paradise IllicitEncounters.com the office day itself is still a day at a desk; what has changed is the hours bolted onto either end of it.

Over half of cheaters said their commute is the only part of the week a partner cannot account for, and asked what they actually do with it, two thirds named a drink near the station before a bunk up in a nearby hotel and then the train home. Some 55% have blamed a train that was late or never turned up.

Xavier (obviously not his real name), 53, from Reading, is in the office on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. “That’s it, that’s the whole arrangement,” he said. “Nobody at home knows what time the 18:42 actually gets in, and nobody has ever checked. I’m not clever about it. I just get a later train.”

The site’s own figures back this up. Midweek sign-ups are running 32% above the same period last year, and they spurt the hardest on Tuesday and Wednesday between five and seven – the two days the offices are fullest, and the two nights a partner is least likely to ask.

Sarah (another love rat who won’t give her real name), 56, from Brighton, goes in on a Tuesday. “My partner thinks Tuesday is my late one. It is a late one. It’s just not late because of work,” she said.

IllicitEncounters.com sex and relationships expert Jessica Leoni  said: “Working from home was terrible for affairs. There was no reason to be anywhere and no gap in the day that anybody could use. A mandated office day hands people back a reason, a postcode and a train time, and that is all anyone has ever needed.”

Jess concluded: “Those bosses who have called everybody back to the office have done more for our business than any adverting campaign we have ever run.”

Oh, the irony…

Foxy has ditched X but is still on Instagram,  just don’t get too excited as she’s never there