Well, last week’s ham-fisted attempt at clickbait didn’t really work; it seems the DMA is not the only organisation which cares little for its own awards’ grand prix, no other bugger is interested either.
Even so, according to my back of a fag packet analysis, we did welcome a few new readers from Engine Creative, so not all is lost. Mind you, that’s the last time I listen to my esteemed – or should that be steaming? – editor. This is my column and I’ll write what I want.
Regular readers, therefore, will be pleased to know that awards have been shelved and normal service has resumed.
That’s right, we’re back to life’s truly important questions, like: What will masturbation be like in 2022? Will the fundamental structure of relationships crumble? And when will sex robots rule the world?
Now, while you may wonder about the marketing angle, bear with me, all will be revealed later on.
You see, there I was, about ten minutes ago, scouring the planet for you again, when I happened upon a fascinating predictions article from a real-life sex editor from the land down under, where Vegemite, barbequed snags and barramundi and chips are the order of the day.
Anyway, if that’s got you licking your lips wait until you read that apparently things are about to get way more fluid in the bedroom department. No, not necessarily bodily fluids, it’s all to do with the rise of Ethical Non-Monogamy, leading to loads of different relationship structures, including polyamory (multiple partners), swinging, and open marriages (surely you don’t need an explanation of the last two.)
Next up, apparently masturbation is also set to get the health kudos it deserves. Yep, forget the jokes, the rise of sexual wellness means there are seriously legitimate health benefits that should make us all feel proud about hitting the Big O. And, as we all now know, orgasms release endorphins, and these chemicals have pain-killing properties. What’s not to like? Even men’s toys will get a facelift.
Finally, the sex tech market is also due to explode, quite literally, with sex robots, artificial erotic agents, and even wearable sex tech allowing you to get down and dirty in the Metaverse.
So, you may ask, what has all this got to do with marketing? Well, not that much to be honest, but at least you got to the end of my musings this week and, you must admit, the future sounds a lot more interesting than 2021. Now, where did I put that VR headset…
You can now follow Foxy on Twitter and Instagram (although don’t expect too much)
